You know me, I love to lose my mind

I know this isn't healthy, but I thought if I don't admit to it, it will eventually go away. Did it? No? I can't avoid the butterflies, I can't avoid the exhilaration, I can't avoid the longing.. It's not yet what people usually called "like" or "crush" yet, but it's budding, and I'm done trying to stop it. I just need you to show me how you feel, I know you're scared, I am too. 
Rootz was fun on Friday. Fun, not great, not amazing, not omg-what-a-night kinda fun. Or maybe I've experienced more fun, different kind of fun. Or maybe it's the people we hung with, *person. I'm a no-bullshit type of person, and if I have a choice I would never ever choose to hang with the people I'm not comfortable around. The people whose knives were once on my back. Fuck, I miss Hannah, and those carefree nights.

Requested a bunch of prospectus from dream universities today. Their entry requirements shocked me, big time. Now that I've had a taste of what A levels feel like, I really need to get my priority straight, more than ever. If you want something, work your ass off for it.
Literature group critical analysis is pissing me off. I do attempt not to be toooo rude or anything, but seriously, half of the time I just rolled my eyes and wondered how I'm gonna survive Lit for the rest of August and September. People either wrote complete out-of-topic bullshit or copied every word from the internet. Sometimes I asked myself Why the fuck do I need to chase after them and correct what they've done wrong? I still don't know the answer, but it seems like the right thing to do right now at least. I thought I was bad in writing, apparently I thought wrong...
Well shit, whatever. Trying out for Year-End Ball Committee on Monday, wish me luck!