Eat me

This entry was supposed to be posted yesterday but I was exhausted therefore I left my work unfinished. Oh well it is finished now. Read away.
So a picture on tumblr which said "The most valuable people are the people who love you when you're not so lovable" got me thinking about Axel. I went back all the way since we first started talking and all the memories came back. Wow, how far we've gone. I miss you so much. I haven't actually realised it until now. My stomach twisted at the height of emotions and these flashes of events hurt more than I would ever expect them to. I'm glad you were there even during one of the darkest times I've been through. And if you're reading this just know that you will always be a part of my life, we will always be a part of each other lives. I'll be there when you need me, however, whenever. No matter how old we'd be, what countries we'd move to, how many spouses we'd have, you'd always be my best man in all of my weddings. All the best for now Axel Steel! We'll make time for New York and Broadway, soon. And don't worry, if in the end we're both still single and lonely, I'd marry you :) kidding NO FUCKING WAY, lol you're honestly way too good for me.

Yesterday was eventful. I found it odd how in the middle of this mess of grades and A levels and SAT and BOD I still have time to notice people. Is it possible to have met someone once and even though they didn't make much of an impression, the more you look at them after that, the more you are drawn to them? There's just something about this person, that I can't take my eyes off of. Something about the shyness and the awkwardness. Maybe I'm drawn to challenges, I just wish to get to know that person better.
Spent the whole day finishing Coriolanus analysis. Surprisingly I love this play, maybe cause everytime I read it, I picture Gerald Butler and whatever his face to be in action for real. And you know what happens when I let my imagination run wild with 2 focal handsome men....
Last night during dinner at Sam's I actually taught Sarah, Sarah Hobbs how to play pool, like yeah right, I'm such a pro at it and all. But the way she looks up to me, incredible. I felt like such a mature adult. Well shit I'm actually almost an adult now... Scary.
The Winter's Tale play is still stuck in my head. I regretted not talking to Polixenes more. I mean that face, that body, that ass, that voice? TAKE ME WITH YOU BACK TO AUSTRALIA PLEASE. Ok it's an overstatement, but I didn't know what held me back that night. I was so quiet, observing from a distance. I was actually intimidated by them :O Maybe it's the height difference, maybe cause I watched them on stage, so they all seemed like some kind of famous celebrities. IDEK.

Oh and did I tell you? I went for my first Rotaract meeting today and everyone's nice and all but they don't seem to be at all interesting, or open, or daring, or different. Except some of the guys, they're ok I guess, the president is quite good looking and that Shaun guy got nice hair. The only thing I remember is that Danial started speaking some malay bullshit everything else was entire irrelevant and insignificant. Can't wait for the call from Ed Board and Music Club. I'm still debating within myself whether to continue Project Adopt or not.

Anyway, so I didn't tell you about this. Let's call this person D and myself V. You see I refuse to take A and B for initials cause they're just too boring. Wait you do know what D and V stands for don't you?
*D and V are sitting next to each other while a group of girls are talking across the room*
V: hey you should go talk to her *point to a girl* she's hot.
D: *reluctant* yeah well,.... She is but.....
V: exactly she is. What's stopping you?
D: *look up at V in the eyes* You

What? what were you saying? wtf just happened? ok? Honestly that was all I was thinking so being an idiot as I am always, I laughed and stood up, treating it like a joke. Was it a joke though? It must have been. HONESTLY WTF JUST HAPPENED?

Mind you, D is pretty good looking and nice, and stupid as I am, even though at that moment I wanted to be so much closer to him, I moved away. And the right time passed. And we're just normal people in college now, walking past each other sometimes without even saying hi. I hate myself.







Omg Elena said the L word to Damon. I AM GOING DOWN WITH THIS SHIP! I thought their sex scene was the best thing so far already. I bet they have ever better sex in real life, like dude, you're Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder. Who could even top your sex life...

Ok nvm it doesn't really matter that much anymore, I still want to get to know this person I was stating above more. For now, finishing off my ice cream bowl.