Or or or...

I just can't shake this feeling off. I feel worthless, to everyone. I feel like I'm slowly drifting away from the closest friends I have.. She did not reply my inbox, it's been 3 days. Yes she's been online. Yes I saw her. Yes I think she just simply doesn't wanna hang with me. It's totally cool.


No actually I'm not cool with it. WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY NOT ME?WHY HER?WHY?


Will it finally be fine? Will I be fine? I thought I hit the rock bottom in May, well, it wasn't the worst. It sucks to feel this way. It sucks so bad.
Today I binged. Emotional eating probably. And yes I couldn't fight the urge.. I felt disgusting after, truly disgusting. So I did it.. After a year of fighting against it, I gave up. Please don't come back bulimia, please don't. But honestly I would trade my bulimia for anorexic anyday...

I'll go do maths. Maybe I can forget about what a life I have.