Let your past make you better, not bitter

John Donne has said once “No man is an island”, I guess John and I will have to agree to disagree on this one, because we all are. Each and every single being in this world is an island. I find it extremely abstruse, the quixotic idea of somehow we are all interconnected, through the mind, through the atoms in our bodies; and maybe science has not been able to prove it yet, and maybe somehow that’s partially correct. But at the end of the say, in most of our lives, the presence of other people might be necessary at certain points, yet it’s the action you take, the thoughts you muse, the songs you sing, that is going to define who you are, not the people you surround yourself with.
What I don’t get is why are people so dependent upon one another. Coincidentally, I’ve been talking to Ashley earlier about the similar content of what I’ve just read from Anisa’s blog. It’s absurd to see people fill themselves up with such rancour, or maybe I might just possess the prowess to block out all emotional feels and thoughts about others. Well that definitely could not be true as usually, I am classified among the extremist in emotions.
I guess the question is where is your comfort zone? The primeval comfort zone of mine to always have others with me, to feel a sense of belonging, well that has been taken away long ago ever since they detached me from their groups in elc. That experience I’d never forget, no one but Erica knew how painful it felt during those days, sitting silently in the corner of the van knowing everyone else is spitefully casting aspersion upon you, suppressing the bitter tears that came out eventually in the end. Do you know how it feels to have the world to suddenly turn against you? That is how it struck for me. Erica never left me though, so I was stuck with her for the rest of the 2 years, hardly communicating with anyone else, anyone else that I used to spend every single hours of the day with. My writing might not be limpid enough to depict how bad it actually was, and I sure don’t show it now. But that experience maybe the reason why I am such a heinous bitch now, nah, I think that’s just genetic :) Ok I’ll stop being so garrulous and rambling on about myself, but I definitely don’t feel sorry for myself, maybe my more puerile self might have, but not the present me. My approach to things is: If it’s good, that’s wonderful. But if it’s bad, it’s experience.
So in my opinion, yes I agree that the friends you make, the people you meet and surround yourself with, could have immense impact on you; but you cannot let others to define who you are. You’re not labelled an “outcast"? You’re not labelled “a girl who cannot find a female best friend” ? You’re not labelled “the duckling among her friends”? The label is what you’re putting on yourself, because feeling sorry for yourself is much easier than embracing your goodness. Take the courage to gather yourself with confidence and bloom like a flower you are. You’re not better or worse than anyone, you’re unique.

Anyway, the quotidian routines are killing me. I hate repetition and sure as hell will not be able to tolerate it. So leave your comment on the pink box on the right side of you, so I’d have something to look at during my procrastinating periods.