Beauty

I think about other girls, and how they shine. And suddenly, I feel like Darth Vader among the sea of golden Barbies. I worry a lot, about their sparkles, how they radiate. I feel as dull as a piece of rusted iron in the bottom of the bin, useless and unwanted. Inferiority is not one of my strong suits, it brings out hatred and the vengeful side of me. I have to remind myself everytime before I let a string of ignorant slurs escape my malevolent lips, that everyone has flaws. It’s compromising, no one ever has it all. And soon, soon enough, my time will come, and my eager feet will carry me to a place where hope will fill my lungs and I will breathe with ease. Everyone one deserves their happy ending, and at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how popular you were at 16 or 17, it’s where you’re going from their and what you achieve. Everything will be ok in the end, if you allow it to be.
I’ve realised that, I’ve spent a lot of time, searching for affection in shallow places. I gave people bits of me, that they didn’t deserve. I let myself get hurt, because I thought that’s what I deserve, that it is just a part in the cycle of life. Maybe once I let go of shoving puzzle pieces in places that do not fit, once I let go of all the hate that I secretly stored in the gashes that decorate my heart, maybe, just maybe, I’ll find my happy ending.