Good morning.

“You are single because you are single. It’s really as simple as that. You haven’t made the connection with another heart yet. You can get dolled up, dress cute, cut your hair, dye your hair, tweeze your eyebrows, put on lipstick and you may still. be. single. You can go out to a bar hoping to meet the love of your life and not find a damn one in the place attractive. And it’s going to remain that way until it’s time for you to find one. Stop hoping for it. Start living the life that you do have instead of wishing for things that you don’t have. There will come a time you’ll meet a boy and you’ll have to give up some of this single freedom you currently have. Start being more thankful. Start doing that now.”
“Why You’re Single” - Thought Catalog

While cleaning up all the notes on my iPhone, I found this wild message I saved a year ago, the time when I was still bitter about my solidarity, possibly one of those days where loneliness just had the power to accumulate half of my mind. This note, now should be dedicated to one of my friends Anisa as well as every other single female species on the planet as the V day approaches. There's nothing bad about being single, and the moment you stop looking for love, love will come looking for you. For me personally, all cheesy bullshit aside, I just don't have the time to waste on these kinda pointless relationships at the moment with those guys who aren't even my type or ideal. We're single but we're young. Don't just sit there passively admiring all the cute guys then whine about how forever alone you are. Get up and talk to them. Make up a terrible excuse to bump into them. Take the fucking risk. Screw your pride. The worst they could do is to dismiss you. These kind of guys then, are either unavailable, or trash. At least then you wouldn't have to wonder what if.

And so I woke up to find the 2 anonymous messages in my tumblr inbox. This was one of them, the other one, I posted on instagram. Both deeply moved me. The power of compliments from strangers, I have spent 17 years of my life underestimating it. You know that they are genuine, that they are utterly not obliged to praise you, yet they did. And that I found so moving. Still I don't actually know what it means when someone tells you that they think you shine bright like a diamond. Especially a stranger. Like you mean my tumblr shines bright like a diamond? My blog layout? Or my fabulous URL WEAREPUREDIAMOND? Omg yes I think I just cracked the code. It is the last option isn't it.

Last night I sent the draft of the article for Student Council election to Danial. That was the first time anyone's ever told me my writing sounds utterly monotonous. And that was the first time I've realised what I've done wrong. I have been shaped into this mould of critical analysis, with standard words like indicate, imply, evoke and so on. The standard sentence structure including method, effect, quote and elaboration that I've used everyday to write hundreds and hundreds pages for Shakespeare and what not. To get out of that dull regime is a must for writing articles yet I'm lost and I don't know how. Danial said I need to treat them like my blog post, express my opinions an feelings. But I've drawn the line for myself between being professional and outright melodramatic. I'm at both end, never in the middle, always too much, too extreme. I need to blur that line but I need help. Help me.

Can't wait till CNY is over so I can get my Macbook. Paramore this Sunday and I am not a least bit enthusiatic. Partly because I was forced to go since my mum's friend's daughter whom I've only met once and who is always completely UNinteresting so far, did not have anyone to go with yet she's a huge fan of paramore. Like how the fuck on earth does it have anything to do with me? Like my mum said "be nice to people and sometime in life you'll realise you need them", but mummmmmm.

Poem of the day: 
“(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)
Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. 
It took me years to understand that this, too, was a gift.”

- Mary Oliver (The Use of Sorrow)
Quote of the day:

"Every mouth you’ve ever kissed was just practice. All the bodies you’ve ever undressed and ploughed in to were preparing you for me. I don’t mind tasting them in the memory of your mouth.
Was it a long journey? Did it take you long to find me?
You’re here now, welcome home."
- Warsan Shire 

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Glee gives me hope.