"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

I'm nursing and feeding my obsession with Vivien Leigh and Marlon Brando and Clark Gable with their tragic and shocking biography and pictures. Don't blame me, blame my mum for the early introduction of Gone With The Wind when I was only 8, harboring my love for Vivien ever since. She was the queer icon who suffered greatly from mental illness especially bipolar disorder, yet her wild beauty and sharpness and incredible talent. I don't know, it inspires me. I'm drawn to peculiar and damaged goods, it's sick but I see beauty in their cracks, even when they're shattered, I'm drawn to their pieces.

“Her lips on his could tell him better than all her stumbling words.”
“Vanity was stronger than love at sixteen and there was no room in her hot heart now for anything but hate.”

Anyway, so back to reality. I'm going to Swedish House Mafia in Jan confirmed (: Justin is buying the tickets this weekend, hope we'll still be able to get early-bird. 
Gah, my parents are preparing for the bbq and they told me why would you want a joined birthday if it's at our house. As they dissected the fact that would it be awkward for the guests when they have to bring 2 presents whilst they might not even be that close to one of us, and would even be more awk if they only bring in 1, I kinda get them...
"It's gonna be complicated with the guest list, like are you gonna invite ONLY your mutual friends or what? And think about if you invite someone he's not close to or someone who's a complete stranger to him, does that give him the same right to bring his friends as well? And would you be happy with that? After all it's our house... Do you really want strangers in our house? I obviously don't. Plus how is he gonna contribute at all to the joined party? I'm obviously making all the food..." - My mum's rant

Ok yeah, that's true. So should I just have a separate BBQ or? Tbh, I think that's quite sensible... Just don't know how to explain to Andrew now.

It's so busy these past few days and exams are getting nearer and nearer. 

I haven't talked about it in a while, I avoided it, even in my blog posts. 

one third of me: I want a relationship so much, relationships are so cute
one third of me: sex sex sex I want sex fuck relationships lets be slutty lol
one third of me: fuck everyone I hate people kill yourselves

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I haven't done anything today omg