Infinity

It is the right choice to drop Literature. That’s what I keep telling myself. Maybe I am trying to convince myself to walk away from something I’ve devoted my heart to, doesn’t mean it is any less right. The problem is, I just don’t think I have a choice. Not right now, not at the very moment, not about that. Grades weren’t declining, but that does not mean they are good enough. Life is about compromises right?
I just couldn’t stop thinking you know. About the future, how it is going to turn out after A levels. Maybe fright and anxiety are all a part of growing up, because I’ve been experiencing a lot of that lately. It’s just getting harder and harder, and I don’t know how long I could keep fighting for what I really want.
I don’t think anyone truly understands what I am striving for, maybe Serlie does, partly, maybe Axel does, maybe Kat does. Each of them has in their possession a small part of me, but what am I as a whole?  I think only my mum would have the answer for that. She shaped me to be who I am today, the vindictive and selfish little mind of mine. It has its perks at times. I think I’ll grow to appreciate her more as I am maturing, one step at the time. But right now, everything just seems fairly confusing and there are myriad of things that are shrouding my sights.