I fell too fast

I want to bury myself, deep down to the core of the earth, then maybe, just maybe I'll be able to escape all of this stress.
I want to feel a sense of belonging again, but yesterday I searched for it, everywhere, under the lion sun, inside the frigid wintry climate,.. It's gone. I felt even more alone surrounded by phony faces and pretentious laughs than all by myself.. So I walked the hallway, I walked the classrooms, I walked the mall, unaccompanied, isolated, deserted, abandoned, solitary. Just like how I always do best.. The feeling is hard to shake off, but I believe I've lost a friend.. Or am I too fast to judge?
This is where I always sense the Effy traits in me, although not as extreme..
I like being alone.
I like drinking coffee and reading alone.
I like eating alone, and listening to music alone.
It gives me time to think, and sets my mind free.
But when I see a mother with her child;
A girl with her lover;
Or a friend laughing with their best friend;
I realise that even though I like being alone,
I don't fancy being lonely..