Try harder

Take me New York, take me away from here

The sparks are back, though unfortunately they might be the result of my wild imagination or accelerated over-interpretation. Despite all of the over-thinking bullshit which I've avoided this time, it felt nice to be flattered once in a while, it felt nice to know that your absence affected someone, and that someone was thinking of you, even though it might only be a split second, you crossed someone's mind. This time I'll go with the flow, wanting to have control over everything hasn't done me any good, I might not even have to put on a mask of apathy in which I've completely failed in the past, this time I might not even bother. I got a life, a future ahead, and a world to conquer.
The band was surprisingly good last night though I've never felt so out-of-place. The place was packed with adult expats conversing among themselves. Some pretended to have the best time of their life as they threw their heads back in laughter though their eyes reflected their blank souls which were hovering elsewhere. Some in fancy short dresses with a cig on one hand, tried to look like they don't have a care in the world. Weird individuals danced in their own their idiotic ways, oblivious to the disturbance they've cause. I've mixed around with a few people, this time I might even be able to get myself a part time job.

Two more prospectuses arrived. This time they were Lancaster and LSE. Regina and I again spent another sleepless night looking thru the prospectus of Edinburgh. You learn something new everyday and last night I've learned that in Edinburgh, Architecture could be one of my options. A dream comes true. Though at the moment, I need to focus on finishing A Passage to India and do my research on cancer's causes. Tomorrow should be mainly Math since this time, I can't embarrass myself again by getting 50%, that was total bullshit, I could have done so much better.