18th July.

So exams and school and all the sh*t we hate already finished.
So yeah, summer I guess.
Ok so normally I would be reeeaaally hyper when I mention summer or holidays or weekend but I'm just in a sh*t mood..
Although I don't wanna be the girl who-got-lots-of-feelings-and-wanna-show-the-world, but since hardly anyone read this stupid blog except my best friend, I'm just gonna let it all out anyway.

I'm pissed at myself for feeling sad about some non-existent relationship that feels so damn real. It's not a boy. It's not even a boy. Why can't everything stop being so difficult for once? And I'm not lesbian. Just not... Sh*t I started to wonder why would I feel this way, this non-sexual related way about a girl. I'm jealous... Is this feeling normal? I know it's not mutual because I'm just the back-up prop.. I seem unworthy and unimportant.. Am I really? To her? I don't know.. I want her to value me, I want her to be mine as I want to be hers.. OH GOD THIS SOUNDS CREEPY!!

And yeah, I'm having a crying fest of the phone with my best friend so I better sign off.