When are you gonna kiss me, again?

Whatever that post below said, forget it. It was one of my angry + stupid + rude moment. I'm not a really nice person aren't I :( I'm just way too demanding plus straightforward plus self-centered plus all the worst shit in the world. I'm sorry for hurting anyone, either on purpose or not, for that moment trust me I couldn't control my feelings. I apologize to everyone, especially my friends (well, I don't do this a lot so you guys better appreciate it). And no, after this I don't need you guys to give me a stirring speech of what a wonderful person I am. I know I'm not :)

!@#$%^&*!!! I can't get this out of M no matter what I offered in exchange. At the same time I can't stand the feelings of being the outsider, not knowing anything, or whether the situation is ugly or not. Thinking about it, I kinda started panicking. I am not ready for this. This is not what I was seeking for. No matter how I feel, no matter how he feels, this is not going to work. It can never work out between us, it just can't. Guilt is overwhelming me :( though I care about myself too much before other people, god, I'm just that selfish >.< But it's like a drug, it keeps me alive. Screw this. I'll figure out a way.

Less than a week till winter <3 Bought my pea coat from Topshop today <3